Monday, October 19, 2009

शुभ दीपावली

15 Comments:

दिवाळीच्या शुभेच्छा! सुंदर ओळी, विशेषतः शेवटचे चार चरण.

इतिBlogger a Sane man
Monday, October 19, 2009 10:42:00 PM  

Happy Diwali gaya!! :)
Khup khup sundar. He tuza akshar ahe ka? :)
Tuzyasarkhach dekhNa ahe. :)

इतिBlogger Saee
Tuesday, October 20, 2009 4:39:00 AM  

सुंदर कविता.
दिवाळीच्या शुभेच्छा!

इतिBlogger प्रशांत
Tuesday, October 20, 2009 12:34:00 PM  

kavita sundar.

इतिBlogger kshipra
Thursday, October 22, 2009 9:59:00 AM  

वा. दिवाळीचा आनंद द्विगुणीत झाला

इतिBlogger HAREKRISHNAJI
Thursday, October 22, 2009 10:17:00 PM  

great wish you a happy diwali too

इतिBlogger कोहम
Friday, October 23, 2009 10:02:00 AM  

kharach chhan kavita ahe. mala mahit nawhta tu kavita kartes!

lekha. (charuchi bahin)

इतिBlogger lekha
Friday, October 23, 2009 1:53:00 PM  

Gayatri-bai : I have delayed my comment for far too long but lest I forget about it altogether, you have my profuse thanks for introducing me to this 8-8-8-4 format. I have myself wondered, for instance, for quite a while why people do not try a different rhyme in 6-6-6-4 format than the standard A-B-B-C pattern (second and third units rhyme) in deva-dwaar chhand and was glad to come across A-A-B-C pattern recently on some blog. It has a completely natural feel to it. I have also wondered why the variation 8-8-8-6 is not tried more often; it seems to me that there is some potential in it. Your pattern with 4 varNa-s in the last charaN will also do; it does not seem inorganic at all.

My favourite example of a great variation on a standard format is Kusumagraj's use of 6-5 pattern in 'गावाच्या सीमेस - नदीच्या तीरा', included in 'Ras-yaatraa'. He has, not surprisingly, used 6-6-6-4 pattern quite often, and has almost always come up with excellent poetry in it. In Ras-yaatraa, three of his poems using 6-6-6-6 pattern come in close succession; but that is also an established and much used pattern. The 6-5 pattern is a departure from it. I don't remember seeing any other poem in it, though I shall grant that my exposure to poetry is very limited. I wish he had written a few more poems using the pattern because the words flow very smoothly in it.

- dn

इतिAnonymous Anonymous
Tuesday, November 17, 2009 2:10:00 PM  

इथे वापरलेली ८-८-८-४ अक्षरसंख्येची अज़ून एक रचना आज़ वाचायला मिळाली : मर्ढेकरांची 'ज़न्म' कविता. (http://ek-kavita.blogspot.com/)

नाही कोणी का कुणाचा । बाप-लेक, मामा-भाचा,
मग अर्थ काय बेंबीचा । विश्वचक्री? ॥

आधी ही रचना वाचली होती तेव्हा शेवटच्या चरणात चारच अक्षरं असल्याचं तीव्रपणे ज़ाणवलं नव्हतं. एवढंच आठवलं होतं की कोरड्या ओठांचा त्रास असलेल्या लोकांना रोज़ बेंबीला खोबरेल तेलाचा एक थेंब चोळायचा सल्ला देतात. मग ओठ उलत नाहीत.

त्रास कोरड्या ओठांचा - नाभीतैलें ज़ात साचा
निदान इतुका बेंबीचा - अर्थ असे ||


- डी एन

इतिAnonymous Anonymous
Monday, November 30, 2009 7:49:00 AM  

निदान इतुका बेंबीचा
-> इतका तरी बेंबीचा

- डी एन

इतिAnonymous Anonymous
Monday, November 30, 2009 8:13:00 AM  

khoopach sundar

इतिBlogger Psmith
Sunday, December 20, 2009 7:16:00 AM  

I TAG you on my blog

इतिBlogger मंदार जोशी
Monday, December 28, 2009 2:14:00 AM  

ब्लॉगीग बंद का ?

इतिBlogger HAREKRISHNAJI
Friday, January 22, 2010 6:43:00 AM  

Hi,
have been reading your posts.
Thank you so much for "Maharashtrach a Valentine".
Gappashatak suru karuch ata!

इतिBlogger asmi
Tuesday, January 26, 2010 12:32:00 PM  

धन्यवाद सगळ्यांना!
नानिवडेकर काका, मलाही उत्तर द्यायला खूप उशीर होतो आहे - पण तुमच्या विस्तृत विवेचनाबद्दल आभारी आहे. तुम्हांला ईमेल केली आहे.

हरेकृष्णजी, ब्लॉगिंग पुन्हा सुरू केलं आहे :)

इतिBlogger Gayatri
Wednesday, February 17, 2010 7:24:00 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home